A passionate prison

You came my way that day,
and In your crazy confidence did confide,
how mad and sad your life had been without me by your side.

You demanded that destiny did display,
our love was for forever, and forever it would stay.
Shaking head and crying eyes my words did try to sway,
but your steadfast arrogance, wouldn't hear a
word that I'd say.

I was in a prison, the walls were in my mind.
Your arms were the jailers, and the keys
I couldn't find.

Your lunacy had infected me,
your madness my new sanity. Your mind as warped
as mind could be, your love pale and ghastly gone,
my spirit now my only song.

So I stayed inside this coffin, drowned in defeat.
Your passion is only pleasing, when It's poisoned
by deceit. I let my mind wander away from here,
so It can at last be free. but when I look into the mirror,
Your face is all I see, Your voice
all I hear.

earth

You can not "own" land. The same god that made land created us, and just as we can not own another person we can not own earth. we don't own the wind, it is free as a bird. we don't own the sky. It is not ours to decide. We do not actually own anything physical in this world, when we die it is left in the earth, it leaves our possession. It is not ours. so what is? What is truly ours? An idea. A belief. Love. we can own these things, they can be ours. what is of our mind is no one else's. We can be these things, we can love these things. all thoughts in our head die with our earthly body, yet they pass on as we do. They pass on with us, if we do indeed pass on. They are not of this world.
I heard a quote once, "the closest thing to godliness is to create" I cant remember who said it, but lord, I hold with it. What our lives mean has nothing to do with what land we supposedly own, how much money we have. It is what we believe. It is who we are, what we do. we create.

spider

you walk down the path in your mind, Dirt etched in the bottom of your feet, pressing smooth footstep into the cold ground beneath you. The moon is an Orb above you, shining down her beautiful smile, engulfing, bathing you in her light. The earth is a faerie land, crafted form thousands of years of woods. Trees twisting into one another, gnarled branches slowly creeping up to someday cover this already nearly dead path. the steep incline of the mountain side protects it from wind, years of moss and likens creeping up the wall. You can feel it in this place. Thousand of eyes watching you. The trees, The earth, The wind, The moon, the ants slowly walking the path, the spiders, spinning and spitting strands of web, Watching. they are all a part of each other and nothing goes unnoticed in this place. yet it is not an uncomfortable kind of watching, It's strangely calming that so many things are paying this much attention to you. You are at home here. You are welcome. Titania flits somewhere unseen, Painting leaves orange as she sees the north wind leaving his home, preparing to meet us. The fog settles. The stars twinkle. And you are forced to think of that little spider, so furiously spinning her web, how she spends so much time building it. She puts her own sweat into it, her heart into it. Only for it to be blown away by that strong gust of wind. Or kicked over by the feet of a boisterous crowd. But still, she spins for all to see, just so we can look upon nature's greatest miracle residing in our own back yard. Poor spider. and then, when the silver snow flakes descend to the earth, what is to become of her? Beautiful her, spending her whole life on such a whisper of achievement. You look up and put your head down, enjoying the chill of the earth. Close your eyes, feel your senses slowly slowly shifting into this dreamworld.

princess of Ice

something old I wrote in I believe July that has been floating around the world of my Myspace for a while.

Once upon a time there was a beautiful princess who was so afraid of life that she locked herself in a tower made of Ice, so no one could disturb her.
One day a prince came riding by in his horse and seeing her fell instantly in love. He could not of course get into the tower, or she down. so he stayed at the bottom, looking up at her for days. The prince loved her so much that finally his great love melted the tower and she fell lightly into his arms. Joy filled both their hearts and they set a wedding date.
But since the princess had spent so much time in the tower, she'd forgotten what it was to feel things and knew hardly anything of life. She had no clue what this powerful emotion was inside of her and fearing illness she put her love in a bottle and threw it into the deepest trench of the ocean. Now however she was emptier then ever and passed each day lifeless and cold. The prince Hated seeing her in this state, so he swam to the very bottom of the ocean and retrieved her bottled love. Delighted, They re-set the wedding date and continued their blissful happiness.
But once again the princess cried and couldn't comprehend the emotions of this world, so she gave her heart to a migrating bird who flew across the world with it. Horrified, the princess slipped into a trance like sleep and couldn't wake. The prince, out of love for her journeyed many years but eventually found her heart again. On returning, the princess still wouldn't wake. even when he returned her heart to her body, she was still as stone. exausted and tear filled, the prince Gave up.
He couldn't feel anything.
Not the love her once saw in her, but nothing.
Mile after mile,
empty empty empty.
She awoke at last but looking at the prince discovered Him a changed man. With her heart returned, she finally had time top discover that this feeling was love and was actually quite ordinary in this world. But now she had no prince and wished for him like the air she breathed. She lived unhappily for a while In her tower once more. But now she discovered how cold it was. How brutally freezing ice is, and how she longed for the warm arms of her prince. so she herself set out on a long journey, Looking for the prince's lost love. Many Years she searched, under ever crack and crevice. She parted the clouds, searched every rain drop and every grain of sand. But alas she could not find it. The princess cried salty tears, and cupping them in her hands noticed something odd. each tear glowed, warm and friendly. And she felt something... Love. The prince had left his love in her, where she could keep it forever from harm. Joyfully, she returned home and kissed the prince, reuniting him once again with his love.
And then, they lived happily ever after.

breath

do you ever think about breathing? Just hot air, in....out... how simple and peaceful the process is. How easy it is, how we would die if we couldn't? And then, all the unnecessary things we do that give us a reason to live, not just a way to. I breathe. I sing. I am. I live, in this cluttered and busy world. My thoughts are sometimes swallowed up by it, I admit. Sometimes I want to just STOP. take out my remote control, pause it and think. It goes so fast, so blurred. you don't have time to catch it. in ancient Rome they believed time was a string, and each person had a string that the fates would cut when it was time for your life to end. But frankly, how this can be as simple as a string I am mystified. More like a web, an endless web vast and bigger then the earth.poor fates, so busy they must be searching for the right string to cut. How do we know they don't make mistakes? Maybe they do. Does it ever shock you, how you are breathing the same air that thousands of years worth of others breathed before you? It's all been done. It's ALL been done. So why are we still here? What is our purpose? To breathe? Take a breather. Soft, hot air. In, out....

You can love some one and not have them love you back

"You can love some one and not have them love you back"
12 words that some up whats wrong with the world. I was browsing the web when I saw this statement in response to someone's yahoo answers question, and I just about stopped breathing. How sadly, sadly true it is. It makes you want to scream in that there is no changing this. You can love someone so much, more then the world itself. You can tear yourself apart, every day thinking about them. you can loose sleep wishing, desperately wishing they knew. You can cry yourself dry. But It wont change a damn thing. Because, you can love some one and not have them love you back. Or, you can both love each other, and no one ever says anything. You can both feel it, beautiful and pure. Love. But be so silent about it, the other mistakes it for hate. When you love someone you need to be assured, every moment that the other person loves you in order to be truly happy. But If that doesn't happen, you fall apart. Like pieces of a puzzle, You cannot seem to bring yourself back together unless the loved one takes the time to find every matching piece. It's so frustrating, how painful it is. And how many times it's happened. To so many different people.

Song

wrote this a while ago and am quite happy of how it turned out. However Cain was right, It should be sung by a guy. I'm not happy with how it sounds on my voice (positively dreadful)


And I walk by… and the same face greets me.
Every time.
Every time. I'm sick of wishing, I hadn't left.
Sick of wishing, I hadn't broken our promise.


I feel like I've fallen off the earth
And now I'm crawling to rebirth
Empty as nothing with no one to hold,
Is someone who's wishing life wasn't
So damn cold.

And I see you again, same old you.
Same old me. But you and me isn't you and me,
Like we used to be. Its just a boy. Just a girl
Just a wish. Just a world.

I feel like I've fallen off the earth,
and now I'm crawling to rebirth.
Empty as Nothing with no one to hold,
Is turning a blind eye, to everything that's real.
Someone who's wishing, I could just feel.

You are the you are the morning, We were the day,
I was the nighttime, that threw it away. That ended
Us quickly, tore it apart. Feeling this empty hole,
That used to be a heart.

I feel like I've fallen, off the earth,
And now I'm crawling to my rebirth.
Empty as nothing, with no one to hold.

Dark like forever, eternity of this.
Blinding my ears, learning to try. Tying my mouth.
And hoping to fly, letting go, feeling bliss.
Undergo, another twist. This is just nothing,
I am just this. So let forever be, forever of regret, nothing
To hide. Losing the sunshine, falling behind. I am regret,
And I am eternity. I am forever, and I am bliss. I am nothing,
But sunshine at night. I am nothing, without you holding me tight.