Thursday, July 17, 2008


wrote this a while ago and am quite happy of how it turned out. However Cain was right, It should be sung by a guy. I'm not happy with how it sounds on my voice (positively dreadful)

And I walk by… and the same face greets me.
Every time.
Every time. I'm sick of wishing, I hadn't left.
Sick of wishing, I hadn't broken our promise.

I feel like I've fallen off the earth
And now I'm crawling to rebirth
Empty as nothing with no one to hold,
Is someone who's wishing life wasn't
So damn cold.

And I see you again, same old you.
Same old me. But you and me isn't you and me,
Like we used to be. Its just a boy. Just a girl
Just a wish. Just a world.

I feel like I've fallen off the earth,
and now I'm crawling to rebirth.
Empty as Nothing with no one to hold,
Is turning a blind eye, to everything that's real.
Someone who's wishing, I could just feel.

You are the you are the morning, We were the day,
I was the nighttime, that threw it away. That ended
Us quickly, tore it apart. Feeling this empty hole,
That used to be a heart.

I feel like I've fallen, off the earth,
And now I'm crawling to my rebirth.
Empty as nothing, with no one to hold.

Dark like forever, eternity of this.
Blinding my ears, learning to try. Tying my mouth.
And hoping to fly, letting go, feeling bliss.
Undergo, another twist. This is just nothing,
I am just this. So let forever be, forever of regret, nothing
To hide. Losing the sunshine, falling behind. I am regret,
And I am eternity. I am forever, and I am bliss. I am nothing,
But sunshine at night. I am nothing, without you holding me tight.

Sunday, July 13, 2008

poem for vlad

Poem for Vlad

a shoulder to cry on,
a smile to share.
Someone to rely on,
who will always be there.

Shares my secrets,
never lets me feel down,
Never regrets, who she is inside.
Never lets my smile turn to a frown.

We are laughter and a smile for the camera.
Together were crazy, an unstoppable force.
we don't care what they think. thats life,
of course.

Knows me through and through,
And never lets me see the rain
Helps in all I do,
shes my best friend, through all the joy and pain.

Sunday, July 6, 2008


I am re-writing this, because right now it kind of feels like brain overload. But, heres my first draft.

So many emotions, creeping in. Picking and choosing which to feel. Heat mixing with exhaustion and excitement. walking down aisle after aisle of artwork, (Ok, so maybe the baby head on the busty goth lady's body and the melted dear face is not really art, but the rest was stunning.) I love the smell of it, most of all. Like weekends, and fun. Like summer. Most of the time however, I watched the people. It's so interesting, what is going through all their heads. Mothers with newborn babies, how beautiful it is just to see the love on their faces. How they look upon their children, not seeing all the art around them because the most beautiful artwork is in their own arms.
Later, we entered a toy store named "Kazoo" It was brilliant. The entire top story was stuffed animals, and downstairs was filled with hundreds of toys. walking around, I longed to turn back to childhood and run around through the toy store. It made me so happy, In a weird way. I don't know. Toys just always make me happy. I think thats because most children I see are happy, Happy with life and how new it all is. Happy to experience it all with new eyes, not yet tainted with the horrors of the world. I love that. I wish That was how we all felt, all the time. So full of life and energy.
When we left the store, It was raining. Just lightly, nothing bad. the kind of rain that appears here and taunts us day after day but never really rains. People ran trying to take cover from it, covering artwork in a mad rush. Inside we all went as well, in a small dark restaurant to cool off from the summer heat but stay dry. After eating, we returned to the art fair. Overheated, I began feeling very lightheaded and was near fainting. literally, no exaggeration. All the sights and sounds were too much for me, And I began to get that feeling you have while dreaming. Not really a part of it, sort of unreal and detached. I walked along, Being dragged by the continuous need to see more, more. Most of it passed in a blur, where I wasn't there at all. Maybe my mind was asleep but my body stayed awake. just so I could see all the beautiful things, and still have memory for it? who knows. But after I got some food In my system, I felt ok.
Then I found myself in my car, Going home. After such a long day, it passed so quick. Obviously I am home now and writing this from my computer room, but I still feel like I'm there.